CHELSEA THINGS.

New blog

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THE “IT”

Life is so good.

I went camping the other night. Best time in a long time. I honestly swam about 3/4 of the time there .. we were like little fish. Everyone else spent most of their time at the campsite, but we just kept exploring and finding different places to swim. It was so much fun. Watched shooting stars and found constellations while floating on our backs in the water. We slept on the dock, swam first thing upon waking. Justin and I went under the dock for like an hour just staring at the MILLIONS of fish swimming around us. It was so amazing. I didn’t want to leave. I want to camp forever.

Went to Red Bud today. I FINALLY jumped off of the high cliff. I have gone so many times before and just stood there trying to get up the guts, but have never actually been able to do it. Justin waited up there with me for almost half an hour, haha, and the girls cheered me on from the other side … and then, finally, I just jumped! It was so fun .. felt so good. I swam the whole way back just smiling and laughing because I was so excited to have finally done it.

I’ve decided I’m going to start writing about all of the things that I do … even the little things. After losing Johnny, I realized there are SO MANY experiences that I had with him that I just can’t remember. I don’t ever want to feel that way about any other person or experience in my life. I want to remember it all. I have been meeting and spending time with so many new people. It feels so great. I just feel my heart growing and growing. The more people I know, the more I realize how beautiful we all are. I also feel like the world/God has been showing me how important love is. Love is what makes life good. Not even just a love for people. A love for things. We are happy when we are doing what we love, around what we love, and loving people. Love really is the secret. We have to strive for it. We have to find WHATEVER it is that is threatening our ability to love something or someone, and fix it. If you just settle for not loving something or someone, no one else is to blame but yourself. If its worth it to you, you’ll fight for it. And that’s what I’ve been doing. I hope I continue to forever ♥

I’m laying in my bed right now with my two best friends in the whole world. My life could not be better.

I’M ALLOWED ONE “GIRL MOMENT” PER DAY. THIS IS IT PEOPLE.

My husband and I will absolutely sing this song together, on stage, at our wedding, in front of all of our best friends ♥ And it will be amazing.

I’M NOT SICK I’M NOT SICK I’M NOT SICK

Hey Mr. Throat, I’m not exactly sure why you are hurting so badly but I think you need to go ahead and stop that :( And, Mr. Immune System, hi. Remember how good of friends we used to be? What a good guy you were? How you used to always beat up any mean germs that came my way? I’m not sure when or why you stopped doing that, but I would greatly appreciate it if you started back up again. I’m going camping in like 8 hours and you need to be fully healed by then … because my plan is not to take very good care of you tonight.

I need Kombucha and breakfast tacos/french toast/ pancakes/ burger and fries/ ice cream/ sushi/ good movies/ and chocolate.

HOLY MOLY

WHAT was I thinking? Perspective is so good. :)

I’M HERE AND THIS IS HAPPENING

I got a present from someone today :)

I also got a really good review at work today from one of the big ol’ guys.

I also ate breakfast tacos for breakfast and sushi for lunch. And I’m about to have a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner. Dang.

I also am going to have about 13 hours of work under my belt for the day … which is awesome.

Today has been really good so far.

NORTH (OR SOUTH, EAST, OR WEST).

In this very moment, I am excited. And that is SO worth celebrating.

THE ELEMENTS

Oh my goodness, John, your memorial could not have been dreamed up any better. In the beginning everyone looked so beautiful and came dressed so nicely. By the end of it, everyone left drenched with lake water, clothes stuck to their body, and like bums. You would not have had it ANY other way.

It was so amazing John. Your family walked down that long staircase to put rose petals into the lake. The “plan” was for friends to follow after with their petals, however, hahah, it did not pan out that way. As we all stood up on the cliff watching your family, all of a sudden, everyone started laughing. Your mom just threw herself into the lake … with all of her clothes on. Eric followed .. then Anne … then Andrew. After that, Jess and I practically ran down the stairs. My dress went all the way to my ankles. I knew that my swimsuit was in my car, but there was no way I wasn’t going to jump in in my clothes. You would have yelled at me if I went to get my swimsuit haha. One of my favorite memories with you is when you, me and Jess went to Barton Springs and jumped in with all of our clothes on.

After we jumped in we swam over with your family and watched as people began trickling down the staircase. By the end of it, 90 PEOPLE jumped in the lake. I couldn’t believe it. At one point Jess turned around to look at me and she said “Chelsea, you are beaming!” And it was true. I couldn’t stop smiling. You were so alive in that moment John. I was so overwhelmed with the HUGE love that everyone has for you. All we wanted was to do what you would do in that moment … which meant swimming in the lake, in our clothes, watching the sun go down. The water was bright orange and bright pink. Unbelievable.

Once we had all gone back up and it was dark, I went off by myself for a little bit. I sat on the cliff and just looked out at the water. I thought about you. I thought about your life. And I thought about how I want to live mine. John, you are already making me LIVE more. A lot has been going on lately … I have kept myself in a really painful place with another person for too long. But last night, for some reason, I all of a sudden felt so different. I just felt really hopeful. I started to get really excited about living my life the way you lived yours … SUBMERSED in all of the elements .. earth, water, love, family. Charissa talked about this in her eulogy … it was so beautiful. And its so true. John, everything that you did and felt, you did and felt FULLY. Every single person you met you were so interested in them .. you instantly loved them and just wanted to be around them. There were no negative people in your life. You surrounded yourself with other people who wanted to live and love the same way. And that is what I want.

I’m so excited that I get to live the rest of my life learning from you. I have had 10 years to see and understand how you lived your life and I am so thankful for that. You will forever continue to change my life for the better Johnny. I love you brother.